I have put off writing a blog for so long because I did not know what to say…I am still not sure that I know what to say, but here is my attempt at making sense of what I have been thinking and feeling…
So many people have asked me how I am handling being back in the States and my answer so far has been that I am doing good – that I am flexible and do pretty good wherever I am, that I am not having any culture shock, that I am enjoying being back…all of which are true statements. I have come to realize that it is not the big “culture shock” things that are the hard part, it is all the little things. It is the day to day things that became so natural living in Dar that I come to expect here and the disappointment when they are different. Yet on the other hand there are all the exciting things that living here brings…some days my mind just swirls. Some days are more overwhelming than others. I need to keep reminding myself that it is going to take time…I did live in Tanzania for three years so it is going to take time to adjust to being back here full time. I think that I am kind of living with the thought that I am here short term and will be going back soon, so I have had to struggle to make myself a part of a community here. I just have to remind myself that life is a journey and this is the path that God has for me and though there are ups and downs and twists and turns on the journey, I will continue “run with perseverance the race marked out for us…Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1,2).
So…these are just some of my thoughts right now as I am looking back over the last few years and looking ahead to all that God has in store for me.
The little things that are different…
*I can wash, dry and fold clothes in 2 hours…in Dar this process would have taken at least 2 days if not more.
*I always have power and when it does go off it is a major crisis…it went off once and the house alarm started freaking out…and then my dad said that if it did not come on again soon, that we could turn on the generator…we have a what?? I never knew people in American had generators…we did not even have one in Dar and we would lose power all the time!
*If I need something, I simply get in the car, drive straight there, get it (because stores always have everything in stock) and drive home…simple as that!
*I can have a warm shower (not from a bucket) every morning…more times a day if I choose.
*It is quiet at night…I mean quiet and dark here…no bright moon or security lights, no honking cars, no dogs parking, no guard walking around outside…
*I can drink the water right from the tap! Still takes some getting used to…
*I keep naturally inserting certain Swahili words into my sentences…like we did in Dar…and people always look at me strange…I don’t care though…I will still use them!
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*The list could go on and on…but just a little taste of what I mean by the “little things”…the everyday things that are a part of my life no longer…that’s where I am having the hardest time adjusting.
Thanks for reading…and for your patience…I promise…more to come…soon. I am inspired now and have many “blogs” running through my head!
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6 comments:
Oh Em! I love you and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and your experience being back. I'm excited to keep reading your blog entries! It's a blessing to hear what God is doing in your heart!
Em - perfect!! I totally feel the same way; that the adjustment is in the little things. And even though it is "easier" in a lot of ways to be back here, I miss the adventure and the "not knowing what could happen" on a simple trip to the store. I love you and miss being able to talk to you every day! But I do still love my showers :) Oh - and Sutton will have a schdeduled power outage this Sunday for 4 hours. The whole thing still makes me laugh.
oh my goodness, your Hebrew quote hit me hard. I just read this again today.
oh btw....
hello! I found you through a Derek Webb search- and I love your blog!
Aw Em. Those are the things I'm missing about America right now and also, against logic, loving about Tanzania.
Did you hear our wall fell down?!? I mean actually fell down, like Jericho! (To which one of my housemates said: Who's been marching around our compound?!?) The street side from the gate all the way to the corner on the new houses side. It's just flat on the ground!
And we've had no power the past 3 days - only comes on at night.
Both of these things because of the rain.
{I know, these things won't make you any less homesick - probably more!}
Love you!
Very cool Emily to see the way that God keeps filling your life up with experiences - growing you into the beautiful woman He wants you to be. He has great plans for your life. And you are a blessing.
...and your little corner of Tanzania isn't the same without you....sigh.
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